And still the rain continues and I dont know why, but it seems to bring out the worst in city drivers.
When it rains at home people just stay indoors. Nothing much to be done and other things, once neglected are now put on the front burner so to speak and get done quickly.
But in Sydney, its like almost any one who is any one needs to be on the road. Now Im not saying that it is a bad thing, but what is it that makes people think that once they have put their windscreen wipers on, all common sense goes down the drain with the rain.
People change lanes, no indicators. People think that its okay to push into your lane even if there is no space, no indicators. People stopped dead bang straight in front of you, heaven knows how you are meant to stop with causing damage.
Normally, I like driving in the city. People are nice, even polite and pleasant.
But I have made a plan, when it rains, Im going to do what I normally do up home. Go inside, shut all the doors and get some other things done.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Break Ups
I've had quite a few interesting break ups in my day.
The ones over the phone, the ones in person and the ones that are texted to you like the person on the other end just doesn't want to face your (don't quite now what would be happening but there you go).
But the most interesting break up was the one that I just had. To begin with, I was going to break up with this man on Facebook, I now a low act, but he did break up with me via text message on my birthday and to be honest revenge was what I had in mind when I thought this senerio up.
But I got brave and decided that the only way to truly have a break up and remain reasonable in the world of exs was to say the words to their face and thats how I ended up with this interesting break up, where my ex still wants to remain friends. I mean real friends, not just the type you have that you say you are going to call and then never do. But, real friends who will be there for each other, should the other ever need them.
And this got me thinking: would that ever work? Would I still be able to look at them and now that I did not have a claim on their lives, even in some small way. But here's the other thing, I am sure that he is more in love with me than I am with him, remember I instigated the break up, so how is this helping him move on? Or does it really mean that he has no intention of moving on, well at least not in the way I would think is healthy.
So, I said yes, I would stay friends....................who knows how this is going to end up, maybe we wont be friends for long...............keep you posted.
The ones over the phone, the ones in person and the ones that are texted to you like the person on the other end just doesn't want to face your (don't quite now what would be happening but there you go).
But the most interesting break up was the one that I just had. To begin with, I was going to break up with this man on Facebook, I now a low act, but he did break up with me via text message on my birthday and to be honest revenge was what I had in mind when I thought this senerio up.
But I got brave and decided that the only way to truly have a break up and remain reasonable in the world of exs was to say the words to their face and thats how I ended up with this interesting break up, where my ex still wants to remain friends. I mean real friends, not just the type you have that you say you are going to call and then never do. But, real friends who will be there for each other, should the other ever need them.
And this got me thinking: would that ever work? Would I still be able to look at them and now that I did not have a claim on their lives, even in some small way. But here's the other thing, I am sure that he is more in love with me than I am with him, remember I instigated the break up, so how is this helping him move on? Or does it really mean that he has no intention of moving on, well at least not in the way I would think is healthy.
So, I said yes, I would stay friends....................who knows how this is going to end up, maybe we wont be friends for long...............keep you posted.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
More Sydney details
Sydney should be known as the city of lights.
It gets dark here at around 5pm and the lights start flickering on. First, one area and then another and before you know it the entire city is light up like a Christmas tree (a cliche I know but I still love it). You can see the lights roll across the city like a huge wave rolling across the beach.
The city lights make the place just a little bit more interesting. Orange here, bright white over there and it reminds you that even if you are alone in this big city, you are never really lonely. Its a pleasure to realise that daybreak can steal the lights away just like night fosters them onto the city.
I am starting to love the city lights. I am starting to appreciate the way their beauty is allowed to show in the night sky. I am starting to realise that people look at them in wonder, when really they should be turning their faces skyward and looking at the moon and stars.
The artificalness of the lights is a reminder to me of everything that I dont have, while I am jaunting in Sydney. I miss my stars the real lights of the night. The way that they light up my path when I get home on a particular inky night is amazing, sometimes it feels as though they are just put there for me.
But for now I will be content with what I have. For they are the stars that are lighting my world at the moment and they will make me appreciate what I have at home, far more than never having them at all.
It gets dark here at around 5pm and the lights start flickering on. First, one area and then another and before you know it the entire city is light up like a Christmas tree (a cliche I know but I still love it). You can see the lights roll across the city like a huge wave rolling across the beach.
The city lights make the place just a little bit more interesting. Orange here, bright white over there and it reminds you that even if you are alone in this big city, you are never really lonely. Its a pleasure to realise that daybreak can steal the lights away just like night fosters them onto the city.
I am starting to love the city lights. I am starting to appreciate the way their beauty is allowed to show in the night sky. I am starting to realise that people look at them in wonder, when really they should be turning their faces skyward and looking at the moon and stars.
The artificalness of the lights is a reminder to me of everything that I dont have, while I am jaunting in Sydney. I miss my stars the real lights of the night. The way that they light up my path when I get home on a particular inky night is amazing, sometimes it feels as though they are just put there for me.
But for now I will be content with what I have. For they are the stars that are lighting my world at the moment and they will make me appreciate what I have at home, far more than never having them at all.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Observations of Sydney
So here I am in Sydney.
The world of lights and noise, smells and heart.
Its an interesting place really when you think about it.
Just listening to the conversations on the street as I walk to work thrills me. Different languages and ideas all filtering out of one person and being passed on to another. It reminds me of all the things that I love about the place.
But heres the thing. The fashion is not just out of a magazine article, its off the planet. People have the most amazing mix and matches happening that its almost scary to look at them as you walk along the street. Tights and boots, jeans and boots, all manner of tops and scarves. If there was one thing that I could say was defintely in for this year it would have to be scarves, they are absolutely every where.
And I am trying to fit in, although I don't have scarves as good as them, just yet........
The world of lights and noise, smells and heart.
Its an interesting place really when you think about it.
Just listening to the conversations on the street as I walk to work thrills me. Different languages and ideas all filtering out of one person and being passed on to another. It reminds me of all the things that I love about the place.
But heres the thing. The fashion is not just out of a magazine article, its off the planet. People have the most amazing mix and matches happening that its almost scary to look at them as you walk along the street. Tights and boots, jeans and boots, all manner of tops and scarves. If there was one thing that I could say was defintely in for this year it would have to be scarves, they are absolutely every where.
And I am trying to fit in, although I don't have scarves as good as them, just yet........
Friday, April 24, 2009
ANZAC Day
This morning as I was standing in the pre dawn light waiting for the local dawn service and listening to the people as they congregated around the centotaph I realised that this day is one of the true days when we get to celebrate exactly who we are.
People came from all over, the police officers on duty, the fire men who had not been called out and the bikies (the ones that we have heard so much about lately), came together with veterans and others who wanted to pay their most humbling respects.
What I was thinking as I was standing there, was not about what had happened all those years ago to ensure that today is forever marked in our lives, but what would I have done if I was placed in the same position as those men (and later women) who sarcrified so much for things they didn't understand?
They didn't understand the political nature of war, the didn't understand what could happen on foreign shores and I really don't think they understood that the people they were fighting didn't know why people were invading their nation. Weren't the Turks just as justified in protecting their country, just like we felt justified protecting our own when needed?
I was worried as I stood there, that many of the veterans there were getting older and older and that one day they will not be there to remember, that it will be up to their children and their children's children to remember what happened so long ago on foriegn lands.
But it wasn't until I got home and I started reading the paper, that I realised nothing that happened 94 years ago has changed anything for the people of the world. Fighting is still going on in places were our troops are still stationed.
I know that as I stood there in pre dawn light I felt proud of people who have fought and are still fighting for our good. That their sacrifice is our life, and the one that we cherish and a lot of the time take for granted.
And if you meet a veteran today, or any day take the time to say "thank you". I'm sure they will understand your platitude.
People came from all over, the police officers on duty, the fire men who had not been called out and the bikies (the ones that we have heard so much about lately), came together with veterans and others who wanted to pay their most humbling respects.
What I was thinking as I was standing there, was not about what had happened all those years ago to ensure that today is forever marked in our lives, but what would I have done if I was placed in the same position as those men (and later women) who sarcrified so much for things they didn't understand?
They didn't understand the political nature of war, the didn't understand what could happen on foreign shores and I really don't think they understood that the people they were fighting didn't know why people were invading their nation. Weren't the Turks just as justified in protecting their country, just like we felt justified protecting our own when needed?
I was worried as I stood there, that many of the veterans there were getting older and older and that one day they will not be there to remember, that it will be up to their children and their children's children to remember what happened so long ago on foriegn lands.
But it wasn't until I got home and I started reading the paper, that I realised nothing that happened 94 years ago has changed anything for the people of the world. Fighting is still going on in places were our troops are still stationed.
I know that as I stood there in pre dawn light I felt proud of people who have fought and are still fighting for our good. That their sacrifice is our life, and the one that we cherish and a lot of the time take for granted.
And if you meet a veteran today, or any day take the time to say "thank you". I'm sure they will understand your platitude.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Chooks
Okay, I have a huge confession to make.
I hate birds and more importantly I hate my chickens. They are ugly animals and they make my skin crawl. They are all brown, except for the ugliest white bird I have ever seen. You see its not that the chickens have done anything wrong, its just that they are birds.
When I was younger I had an incident with a packet of chips and an emu and that has lead to this insane phobia of all birds. I keep thinking that they are only thinking about ways to peck out my eyes and that in a mob that would be easier than anything that they have ever tried to do before.
But it gets worst, since the kids are not happily with their dad for a while I am now expected to be able to look after these animals. Feed and water I can do, throwing the food in as quickly as possible and filling up their water containers from outside the cage. But we have run into a problem, egg collection.
You see all through summer they have not been laying. Something about it being to hot and not getting enough of something, god only knows what though. But I think that now that their primary carer has left for a while, they have started again. They are making all the right noises and they seem to greet the morning with more gusto then they ever have before. One thing can only be happening in that cage each morning, egg production must have started again. Ahhhh…………………how am I going to get them?
You see Im all right with the idea of throwing food at them and watering from the outside, but stepping into that cage, please pluck my eyebrows with a hot poker. A cant at the moment make the time to go into the cage and as I said their primary carer is away. What am I meant to do? Im not ready to over come my phobia just yet, in fact I want to cling to it like a stranded passenger on the Titanic clinging to a lifeboat.
So that is the latest dilemma on the farm, realistically it’s the only dilemma on the farm at the moment. That and trying to work out which part of the fence the dogs are escaping from now.
I hate birds and more importantly I hate my chickens. They are ugly animals and they make my skin crawl. They are all brown, except for the ugliest white bird I have ever seen. You see its not that the chickens have done anything wrong, its just that they are birds.
When I was younger I had an incident with a packet of chips and an emu and that has lead to this insane phobia of all birds. I keep thinking that they are only thinking about ways to peck out my eyes and that in a mob that would be easier than anything that they have ever tried to do before.
But it gets worst, since the kids are not happily with their dad for a while I am now expected to be able to look after these animals. Feed and water I can do, throwing the food in as quickly as possible and filling up their water containers from outside the cage. But we have run into a problem, egg collection.
You see all through summer they have not been laying. Something about it being to hot and not getting enough of something, god only knows what though. But I think that now that their primary carer has left for a while, they have started again. They are making all the right noises and they seem to greet the morning with more gusto then they ever have before. One thing can only be happening in that cage each morning, egg production must have started again. Ahhhh…………………how am I going to get them?
You see Im all right with the idea of throwing food at them and watering from the outside, but stepping into that cage, please pluck my eyebrows with a hot poker. A cant at the moment make the time to go into the cage and as I said their primary carer is away. What am I meant to do? Im not ready to over come my phobia just yet, in fact I want to cling to it like a stranded passenger on the Titanic clinging to a lifeboat.
So that is the latest dilemma on the farm, realistically it’s the only dilemma on the farm at the moment. That and trying to work out which part of the fence the dogs are escaping from now.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
relationship angst
I didn’t realise that relationships were so difficult. I didn’t understand what it meant to love someone and hope that they would love you in return. The waiting and wondering if what you are doing is the right thing or if it is just going to put you in the dog house for who knows how many hours and days. Hoping that you are doing it right and wondering most of the time what the other person is thinking.
Im in the middle of a relationship. Most of the time it is fantastic, loving and kind. But some of the time I desperately need an air bag for the crash that is happening. The way that you cant seem to say or do the right thing. The way things that have happened leave you wondering if this is all you are going to get again in your life. I mean I left my marriage because I wasn’t in love with the person is this relationship that I am having at the moment the karma that I got for that. Have I not apologised enough for falling out of love with one man, that another gets to treat me any way he wants.
And if this is karma what else did I not take notice of in my previous relationship to deserve this. What did I do that was absolutely so awful that I needed to have this in return? I know that I was not always the best wife, who knows how you are really meant to be that. No manual has ever been written about how to be the best wife in the post feminist world. So I know that I was only doing the best that I could at the time when problems were presented to me. But why do I need this karma in return????
They say that karma has a way of making you understand. That its there to ensure that you are able to atone for sins that you may or may not have seen coming. But what happens when you acknowledge karma and it still kicks your arse all over the place. I always thought that my ex would be the one who would have karma kick his arse but of course that is not to be, he has a fiancé, they seem to be happily in love and I have a relationship that is starting to look as though it is past its used by date.
The worst thing is I don’t know what to really do. Do you hang around and hope that the good days return or do you cut your losses and run because you know that is all you have left in you. I know that its gonna hurt lots of people, A, me and the kids (in some weird way). Ahhh………..what am I going to do? What is the answer? Maybe more thinking time is what is needed right now.
Im in the middle of a relationship. Most of the time it is fantastic, loving and kind. But some of the time I desperately need an air bag for the crash that is happening. The way that you cant seem to say or do the right thing. The way things that have happened leave you wondering if this is all you are going to get again in your life. I mean I left my marriage because I wasn’t in love with the person is this relationship that I am having at the moment the karma that I got for that. Have I not apologised enough for falling out of love with one man, that another gets to treat me any way he wants.
And if this is karma what else did I not take notice of in my previous relationship to deserve this. What did I do that was absolutely so awful that I needed to have this in return? I know that I was not always the best wife, who knows how you are really meant to be that. No manual has ever been written about how to be the best wife in the post feminist world. So I know that I was only doing the best that I could at the time when problems were presented to me. But why do I need this karma in return????
They say that karma has a way of making you understand. That its there to ensure that you are able to atone for sins that you may or may not have seen coming. But what happens when you acknowledge karma and it still kicks your arse all over the place. I always thought that my ex would be the one who would have karma kick his arse but of course that is not to be, he has a fiancé, they seem to be happily in love and I have a relationship that is starting to look as though it is past its used by date.
The worst thing is I don’t know what to really do. Do you hang around and hope that the good days return or do you cut your losses and run because you know that is all you have left in you. I know that its gonna hurt lots of people, A, me and the kids (in some weird way). Ahhh………..what am I going to do? What is the answer? Maybe more thinking time is what is needed right now.
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