I was sitting there thinking the other day that I would like to come first in someone's life.
My kids have more of a social life than me so how am I suppose to come first in their lives. I understand that I am not suppose to come first in their lives, they are kids being self centred and egotistical is in their nature.
My ex-husband is my ex-husband because I never came first in my life. This was hard to deal with at first but I learnt to deal with it and added other people to my life to fill the gap that was left. I knew that he was incapable of being anything other than what he was, but like a normal person I wanted more than what he could give me.
I don't understand what is wrong with me that I can not come high on the priority list of people who claim that they love me wholeheartedly. To hope that this may change is something that is futile and understandly sad. So I have made a decision if I am not on anyone else's prioirty list the least I can do is be at the top of mine. Is this selfish? Im not quiet sure, but it something that I need to ensure happens for the next little while.
The funny thing is that I dont know how to go about this, how does someone show self love? How does ensure that they come first, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!!!
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It is impossible to expect someone else to love you if you don't firstly love yourself.
ReplyDeleteIf you can't give yourself 100% love, how on earth are you suppose to accept it from others, let alone be able to give it?
Of course it is not selfish to love yourself, it is an utmost important requirement if one is to have healthy relationships with others including children,family,friends and partners.
Children at birth have got it right instictively, they have this selfish self centred nature in order to survive (to communicate)- to get neccessary attention in order to be fed and changed etc.
It is not impossible or futile as you put it, to be on someones priority. You need to accept people for who they are, and realise that what they are giving you (or have given you in the past) is the best they possibly can at that time.
If you are a person that sees the glass as always half 'empty', then noone will ever be able to satisfy you.
So in answer to your last paragragh, I believe the best thing anyone can do is love themselves wholeheartedly by being happy and accepting who you are no matter what bad experiences have come your way in the past, accepting bad experiences as an opportunity to learn from and by not being a 'victim' of your life. (in other words - don't point the finger at others for anything that goes wrong in your life - look at yourself first)
See every experience as a way of learning for the future - for the sake of yourself,your children and anyone else in your life.
Hope this helps :)
Thank you so much for your comments, they have allowed me to think seriously about what I want.
ReplyDeleteI will try and just experience every jounrey for that is how I am going to learn about myself and what I really want in life.