Who would have thought?

I was sitting there thinking the other day that I would like to come first in someone's life.

My kids have more of a social life than me so how am I suppose to come first in their lives. I understand that I am not suppose to come first in their lives, they are kids being self centred and egotistical is in their nature.

My ex-husband is my ex-husband because I never came first in my life. This was hard to deal with at first but I learnt to deal with it and added other people to my life to fill the gap that was left. I knew that he was incapable of being anything other than what he was, but like a normal person I wanted more than what he could give me.

I don't understand what is wrong with me that I can not come high on the priority list of people who claim that they love me wholeheartedly. To hope that this may change is something that is futile and understandly sad. So I have made a decision if I am not on anyone else's prioirty list the least I can do is be at the top of mine. Is this selfish? Im not quiet sure, but it something that I need to ensure happens for the next little while.

The funny thing is that I dont know how to go about this, how does someone show self love? How does ensure that they come first, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!!!