Expectations

Its funny when we build something up in our mind. The way we think about something constantly and have wishes and dreams about what it should be like and then reality hits and you realise that what you thought was not actually what was going to happen.

You build things up in your mind until you have every part of the conversation down, every gesture known and every second played out. You dream about it in advance and it consumes your every waking moment and then the time passes and nothing is the same as it was before.

I have come to realise that these moments are only moments in your mind. That real life is never going to play out the way that you want and that nothing is ever going to change that.

Not that I dont like real life. I love it, the way it comes up and hits you in the face when you least expect it, it reminds you that nothing is as you think. I love my life, well most of the time. I love the friends that I have and my children. I love my family and the way that my life plays out on a day to day basis.

But what I dont like is when someone has you believe something because they havent told you the whole truth. The haven't told you that your expectations are about to be shattered. They haven't told you that what you want from them is just not going to happen. They haven't told you the whole truth but have let you place expectations on what you think is going to happen.

So while my life is great in some ways, I can only hope that in the future these expectations will not lead me astray again. I am going to listen to what people are saying rather than just what i want them to be saying, that way I wont be let down again.