when women turn

So the kids have gone to their dad's for the next 2 weeks at least. After that they will be living with their dad for a few months. I am going to miss them terribly. But I have decided that I need to be selfish about something.



To me I have always put everyone first. Nothing was ever to big or to small, everything needed to be done in the way they wanted. J never ever lets me playstation for this simple reason. E thinks that I am strange at times, and sometimes will only let me listen to certain music which then she gets to dance with me. So to be honest I am a little bit scared of being selfish, what happens if it is all just to much for the kids and they decide they want to stay with their dad indefinitely? Does that mean that being selfish is not something that a woman is allowed to do?



That is what I am thinking about. When is it okay to be selfish when you are a mother? When is okay to want something that has nothing to do with your children? I have read many books about what woman lose when they decide to put themselves first. We are conditioned as children to look up to the mother who is able to combine work and play successfully, if she has a husband then she is suppose to fulfill his needs as well. Even in sitcoms the most successful women are the ones that are able to never be to selflish but can also deliver her lines in a funny and interesting way - all this on top of looking absolutely perfect. Ah, if only life was a sitcom right?



Well, its not. When I first told my people what I was thinking of doing for a while, comments ran along the way that I was being selfish and I really needed to think about this thoughougly. But if this was some mans decision, then it would be accepted as what he had to do to complete his career path. Being part of the post feminist era I thought that a career was my right as well, that woman didn't just have jobs for a small amount of time but a career that they could be proud of and something that they could enjoy, heaven forbid they ever actually admit to that. At my girl's school growing up I thought that the school motto was "Girls can do anything" (Girls high school), so where they only setting me up for failure?

If we are telling our girls that they are able to do anything they want why then do we punish them when they try? I am hoping that I am bringing up E to believe that she is able to do anything that she puts her mind to. I am hoping that she believes that is allowed by society to think that she has the capabilities to do anything, and if she is offered something that makes her a little bit selfish than I am hoping that she takes the position and knows that society as a whole, and the people who love her in particular will be there for her no matter what.